IT’S MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!
And it’s gonna be fucking awesome or else I’ll burn this world down to the ground. Or just be a sad panda. Whichever is easier.
So ive been working two jobs lately and jesus christ let me tell you this shit sucks.
I recently moved out of my fathers house and don’t have the extra stress holding me down. It’s pretty nice not having to deal with anybody elses shit :)
That’s all for my update.
TABLE THROUGH A GOD DAMN WINDOW TIME.
Because yes, talking down to me, insulting me for FUCKING NOTHING and then ordering me around like I’m ten years old is how you get me to give a shit. I will burn this house down quicker than I will give a shit what you have to say.
A food blog just started following me…
This is what I have become…
GET IN MA BELLY!
Life hits hard…
and I’m just not sure how I can handle it anymore…
I’m getting kicked out of my house because of my “disrespectful attitude” how I “refuse to help out” and how I “post things to my facebook that make [someone] out to be an asshole for the family to see”
The disrespectful attitude is because I don’t do housework or yard work. I don’t do these things because I work graveyards and am only ever home for about 6 hours at a time to sleep. I wake up, shower and take off again.
The refuses to help out part is because I wouldn’t give my dad an additional $250 last month. I didn’t want to because I have my own bills that I haven’t paid on in nearly three years. I haven’t been able to pay on that because I was unemployed for a long time and only got jobs that were minimum wage and low hours. I only recently found a job that pays decent. It’s 9 an hour at 40 a week so my checks (without overtime) are roughly 640. This is literally 10% of what my dad makes. Another reason I didn’t want to give him that money was because I had given him $500 two weeks earlier and because the rent he charges me is $500 a month. So he got angry that I wouldn’t give him an additional $250 for the month of July.
The things I posted on my Facebook that he didn’t like was a picture of our empty fridge with a tub of butter in it that I captioned “Hunger Games in real life.” It was purely intended as a joke but he took it to the extreme.
The basic end result is that he’s kicking me out because of those reasons and included that he is tired of basically being a parent. He’s upset that he got a truck that he let me use to go to work (which he never misses a chance to let me know it’s not mine), paying various bills that I’m connected to in some way and feeding me for 21 years.
But what really gets me, is that my mom walked out on me and my dad when I was 13 years old and he was all I had. He basically worked all the time and I was home alone to take care of myself, him, four dogs and the house. I cooked as best I could as a 14 year old boy and I got occasional help from my sisters who were in there early 20’s who didn’t come around a lot…I never asked for much although I know I took a lot. I never complained about the birthdays that I didn’t get anything or the Christmases where we just hung out and watched the parade on TV because we couldn’t afford to get anything for one another. I was simply happy that I still had a parent who wanted me around…and now I don’t even have that.
I’m not sure what else life has in store for me but I do’t know if I can handle anything else at this moment. There is a weight on my shoulders that is weighing me down and it’s getting harder and harder to keep on moving through everything. Two weeks ago I fell into depression because of a situation that happened with a lady who I truly enjoyed being around. This week, I was pushed further into the deep end of that depression.
You know what the kicker is? I’ve never done any drugs other than smoked pot from time to time (which, although I don’t smoke anymore, I don’t count it as a drug) and have been clean from it for over a year and a half, I attempted to join the military at 18 (which didn’t work out because of an overlooked eye condition,) I’ve never been arrested, gotten a ticket, been in a car accident and have no kids.
But, in the eyes of my father, I’ve failed at every turn…
If you actually read this post or even pay enough attention to my blog to notice I post things, thanks. I appreciate it.